When she was four years old, her mom gave birth to a baby boy. That girl was so pleased that she thought things could not get any worse.
But she was wrong.
Every childhood has its special imprints, memories that float in one's mind like ghosts waiting to be recalled. That girl's memory consist mainly of things peculiar to an autistic boy for a brother..
When people found out that her younger brother still could not talk at the age of three, they call him abnormal. But to her family, he is simply special.
At age five, he was brought to a school for special children. There he was taught how to write, read, talk and feed himself. Basic things a normal child should have known by now.
Years passed by and that boy proved that he is not capable of being productive. And he still can not talk. Every now and then, he has tantrums (worse than tantrums of any other kids that girl knows). A person who never experience being with a special child would really be shocked to see his tantrums.
He would bang his head on the wall so many times that the girl often wonders why that boy never got brain tumor. When he is on his worst disposition, he would actually even throw anything he sees across his path. Be it expensive or not. He never cared.
He would bit, hit or scratch anyone he likes.
She actually thinks he is a hopeless case. Even the family is almost ready to give up any hopes they have for him.
He is like a wild animal on a habitat screaming for serenity. The only person he feared is their father.
Anyway, let us go to the story of the girl. But before that, let me tell you a thing or two about her.
She was besotted once. Big time. During that experience, it was as if she was wearing her feelings on her sleeve.. that she actually had a huge sign plastered on her forehead that said: So Totally Bonkers for M***! Unfortunately, she realized one must wake up in every daydream. So it only ended up with her saying: Holy heartbreak, Batman!
Oh gawd. Just to make the introduction short, she is your typical girl. She dreams of happily-ever-afters.. Loves the things easy life could bring.. Wants to be a successful person someday..
But all that hopes became distorted.. She suddenly realized that her life will never be a bed of roses.. That life, itself, will never be perfect.
How could she forget that on March 28 (two days before her graduation), while she was actually ready to call it a night, she accidentally felt a lump on her left breast.
She immediately went to her dear mom and let her feel the lump. Due to ignorance of certain lumps, she cried silently.. thinking that all those time she had a breast cancer.
More than a week later, April 8, she had her very first ultrasound. The result?
"Solid masses, both breast."
She took a mental note of the term masses. Holy shit! Plural form. Which means it is not only one. The largest is on the left breast which is 2.6 cm at 11 o clock position.
She could not believe it. How long had those started? Were that lumps inherited? If they were, from whom did she inherited those? Or is it because of the not-so-rare times she was hit by her brother?
Questions. Lots of questions. But in reality, she does not want to know the answers. She might have develop a certain loatheness against her dear brother if the answer would be the latter.
She might be becoming selfish but this time, she is talking about her life.. her future.. The real issue is not about other people anymore. It is about her.
October 18.. More than six months have passed and her mom decided to accompany her to a clinic for her next ultrasound.
The result was still the same: "Solid masses, bilateral, as described. "
Unfortunately, the hypoechoic masses became larger. The largest one (in the 11 o clock position) became 3.1 cm.
Her parents were still thinking if they would let her undergo a surgery. They were actually having second thoughts since her loving grandmother said: "Hindi magandang galawin ang mga bukol na iyan. Baka kapag inoperahan ay tumubo pa uli, at maging malignant pa. Subukan ninyong gumamit ng mga dahon-dahon o tapal-tapal. Baka mabisa. (It is not good to touch those lumps. It may grow again once removed and this time it could be malignant. Try some traditional means. Maybe it will be effective.)"
But the oncologist said: "In my many years of experience, I never, not even once, did I encounter a drug that could really cure breast lumps. However, some people said that traditional methods are effective. I do not know. Honestly, I am not saying traditional methods are not good. Though sometimes, it leads you to false hopes. When in reality, it just prolongs the agony. And if you are wondering if breast lumps could still grow back after surgery. Yes, they do sometimes. Unfortunately, the medicine world has yet discovered the real cure to lumps. All I could do for you is to remove the largest one if you do not like to remove them all. Then, we will do some biopsy to know if those lumps are benign or not."
Christmas is coming and that girl has so many wishes she wanted to come true. But all she wished right now is that those breast lumps were just benign. She is still young and full of life.
Please include her on your prayers everyday. That is all I ask from you.
Thanks a lot.
Oh. Before I forgot, the girl I am talking about is me.